Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Winning Isn't Everything...

Today's post from the Daily Om: Winning Isn't Everything: Competing With Yourself.

March 6, 2007
Winning Isn't Everything
Competing With Yourself

The urges that drive us to compete with others tend to be straightforward. Years of both evolution and societal influences have shaped us to pit ourselves against our peers. The needs and desires that inspire us to compete with ourselves, however, are entirely personal and thus far more complex. A need to outdo our earlier efforts-to confirm that we have grown as individuals-can motivate us to reach new heights of accomplishment. We are capable of using our past achievements as a foundation from which we venture confidently into the unknown. Yet if this drive to compete with our former selves is the result of low self-worth or a need to prove ourselves to others, even glowing successes can feel disheartening. Examining why we compete with ourselves enables us to positively identify those contests that will enrich our existence.

There are many reasons we strive to outdo ourselves. When we are ambitious in our quest for growth, we are driven to set and meet our own expectations. We do not look to external experiences of winning and losing to define our sense of self-worth. Rather, we are our own judges and coaches, monitoring our progress and gauging how successful we have become. Though we seek the thrill of accomplishment tirelessly, we do so out of a legitimate need to improve the world or to pave the way for those who will follow in our footsteps. Be careful, though, that your competitiveness is not the result of an unconscious need to show others that you are capable of meeting and then exceeding their standards.

Consider, too, that successful efforts that would be deemed more than good enough when evaluated from an external perspective may not satisfy our inner judge, who can drive us ruthlessly. In order to attain balance, we have to learn the art of patience even as we strive to achieve our highest vision of who we are. When we feel drained, tense, or unhappy as we pursue our goals, it may be that we are pushing ourselves for the wrong reasons. Our enthusiasm for our endeavors will return as soon as we recall that authentic evolution is a matter not of winning but of taking pride in our progress at any pace. .


jeff :) said...

i thought this blurb was interesting in light of kevin's post, especially the one on gender differences. as a male, competitiveness has been a large part of my life and a struggle for me... i guess we all compete in our lives... and i know i compete with myself too... i hadn't thought of competition with myself as maybe being unhealthy, but i can see now how it can be... maybe being happy with daily and hourly progress is enough :)... what do you think?

Hannah said...

I think pushing yourself is good, but in a balanced way. setting goals is healthy, but winning for the sake of winning isn't. keep your reasons to better yourself reasons that benefit you and everyone you happen to meet.

jeff :) said...

yea, balance is the key isn't it. i agree... winning for winning sake isn't very healthy. i don't feel like i compete with others anymore, but i do find myself competing with myself...trying to become better all the time (if that makes sense). sometimes, it causes lots of anxiety...which is what i think is unhealthy... back to balance, aye? and letting go of unhealthy stressors. sometimes i think i just need to slow down :). how about you?

jeff :) said...

oh yea, and i agree... aligning reasons for bettering yourself to benefits to others and the planet is a wonderful goal :)... i like it a lot...

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